Monday morning uplift

Well its monday morning and Im sat here with my brew thinking about starting another new week of doing the same stuff... so before I get lost under a mountain of washing, ironing and hoovering I thought I would share with you some of the funny new stories I heard last week which kept me going... some times reminding us that it could always be worse!

In Canada police have been unable to trace a naked jogger who snatched a woman's bag of chips while she was being served at a drive-in takeaway in Langley, Brithsh Columbia. They say the case is proving difficult because neither the female customer nor the waitress serving her could offer any description of the man's face!

Tasmanian poppy farmers are claiming that drugged-up wallabies are destroying their crops. 'They get into the fields, get high as kites eating the poppies and run around in circles trampling the plants', said a government spokesman for the island, whichis the worlds biggest supplier of legalised opium.

A theif in Tubingen, Germany, is regretting his decision to sell a stolen lawnmower on the internet auction site Ebay. Its original owner was among the customers who turned up to view it, and then alerted the police.

keen angler Li Huiyan dug a 16m deep hole in the kitchen of his home in Chongqiung, China, after he discoverd he lived above an underground river. He now climbs down it every day to haul in fish, which he sells at £3.20 a time to local restaurants and shops.

And finally, back home in England, a safety-conscious getaway driver managed to get himself and two accomplices in a £60,000 jewel heist nabbed because he refused to drive over the speed limit. Police gave chase after the raid in Guildford, Surey, but had little problem in catching Neil Murray, 34, who has now ben jailed for five years, because he kept slowing down to obey the speed signs!!

So you are here at last, Billy home today, don't know what time. Sorry i missed you but was in bed how you getting bench to yours???

what bench?

what bench?

what bench?

The garden bench, you said you wanted it

oh yeah id forgotton about that

ill get billy to get it when he gets back seeing as he has the biggest car out of all of us lol

well full after my tea now but still thinking about pudding haha

xx

Dya think you will be inviting your mates to chat on here???have invited thingy, forgot her name, our billys ex, but she has not responded***Charlene, just remembered, lol

i have invited most of them, but, like me, theyre facebook addicts lol so if they join or not remains to be seen lol

Just finished my cleaning for today, bens got boxing tonight so we'll be having tea at my grandads, i cut all his garden down yesterday, he says he wants a bench or something there now to sit out- cos sometimes apparently he does get up before tea time lol xx

It would get nicked outside my dad's, he would be better with a chair that could be taken in, he had just got up when I went on Sunday, said he did'nt go to bed till 7am cos he was watching a film he seems to think everytime we go over it is to go to pub with him, could'nt cos I was working